I Really Want to Love This World

This is a translation of the song by Hua Chenyu,《好想爱这个世界啊》, a song written for people with depression.

Curled up in the sofa, feeling groggy, hair unkempt
Yet I yearn to be as carefree as a movie’s protagonist
Below the eaves, a row of crows nestle close together
I don’t know how to release the feelings I hold back

Whether I’m here or there
Like the frightened chirping of insects
Yet I understand I need to put in some effort now
Whether I’m here or there
I can’t make up for the past
Whenever I recall

Thought of leaving, to exist this way
Because of the whispers, attitudes, and wounds
I didn’t want to leave when you said you’re here for me
Suddenly I start to inexplicably… look forward

As the sun sets, I flip through my phone contacts and have no one to call
This is what I deserve for being used to loneliness
On this single-plank bridge, whoever pushes others off will be the winner
I resist silently, when can I overcome it?

Whether I’m here or there
Like the frightened chirping of insects
Yet I understand I need to put in some effort now
Whether I’m here or there
I can’t make up for the past
Whenever I recall

Thought of leaving, to exist this way
Because of the whispers, attitudes, and wounds
I didn’t want to leave, perhaps having experienced being loved
I’ll start to look forward to the future
These scars, just leave them in my memories
Let go, so I can get better things
Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid

Thought of leaving, when clouds cover the sunshine
I never thought you would go all out to clear the skies for me…
Thought of leaving, yet I’ve persevered till now
I’ve weathered the whispers, attitudes, and wounds
I didn’t want to leave, when start smiling
The world is suddenly filled with colours

Curled up in the sofa, feeling groggy, hair unkempt
As the sun sets, I answer the phone, and it was you

-End-

Here are three video recommendations for this song.

Live version sang on 2020’s singing competition “Singer”.
Another live version from Huahua’s 2019 concert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ib-0fBABdw
Fan animation of with the studio version of the song

Original lyrics in Chinese:

抱着沙发 睡眼昏花 凌乱头发
却渴望像电影主角一样潇洒
屋檐角下 排着乌鸦 密密麻麻
被压抑的情绪不知如何表达

无论我 在这里 在那里
仿佛失魂的虫鸣
却明白此刻应该做些努力
无论我 在这里 在那里
不能弥补的过去
每当想起

想过离开 以这种方式存在
是因为 那些旁白 那些姿态 那些伤害
不想离开 当你说还有你在
忽然我开始莫名 期待

夕阳西下 翻着电话 无人拨打
是习惯孤独的我该得到的吧
独木桥呀 把谁推下 才算赢家
我无声的反抗 何时能战胜它

无论我 在这里 在那里
仿佛失魂的虫鸣
却明白此刻应该做些努力
无论我 在这里 在那里
不能弥补的过去
每当想起

想过离开 以这种方式存在
是因为 那些旁白 那些姿态 那些伤害
不想离开 也许尝试过被爱
会开始仰望未来
伤疤 就丢给回忆吧
放下 才得到更好啊
别怕 别怕

想过离开 当阳光败给阴霾
没想到你会拼命为我拨开
曾想过离开 却又坚持到现在
熬过了 那些旁白 那些姿态 那些伤害
不想离开 当你的笑容绽开
这世界突然填满 色彩

抱着沙发 睡眼昏花 凌乱头发
夕阳西下 接通电话 是你呀